QUESTION:
”How do the cultural clashes between the traditional Indian culture and the emergence of technology such as text messaging and internet dating effect romantic relationships in India?”
ANSWER:
I want to tell the story of Ammu. He is a 27-year-old massage therapist I met in Udaipur when I was on vacation. Ammu has a small Ayurvedic shop where he invites tourists for some chai and a chat. It is a crazy shop covered with pictures of gods, jars of oil, flowers and cushions in many different colors. In one corner Ammu has a big picture of his daughter of eleven months. If you ask about the picture Ammu open up his heart and tell you the story of how he met and lost the love of his life. It is a story that bring Ammu to tears every time but he tells you this story because he thinks only tourists understands…
Ammu first saw Bipasha a couple of years ago outside her home. He instantly fell in love. She was the prettiest girl he had ever laid eyes on. For weeks he circled around her home with his motorbike trying to make her go out with him. She refused until one day when she finally said yes. There was a problem however. Bipasha was from a different cast than Ammu. They saw each other in secret until one day when Bipasha’s family found out about the couple. Bipasha and Ammu could no longer see each other. Ammu was devastated. His father had recently died and without him or the love of his life, Ammu decided to swallow a bottle of Ammoniac. Miraculously Ammu survived and Bipasha came to see him at the hospital despite her family’s will. They decided to get married in secret and soon after that Bipasha was pregnant. Her family was desperate and now gave the couple a choice. Either Ammu changed his cast or Bipasha would be taken by force to marry someone else. Changing cast was not an easy choice. If Ammu would change his cast his mother and sister would no longer be welcome any where in the society. They would shamefully have to suffer their lives in loneliness. Not to mention that his sister never would get married. It stood between Ammu’s wife and daughter or his mother and sister. Ammu didn’t want to ruin the life of his family by blood and therefore he chose his sister and mother and said no to changing cast. Bipasha and their daughter were soon sent to Saudi Arabia. Ammu haven’t heard from them ever since and it looks like he never will.
Why do I tell you this true love story? Well it is to show you how deeply cultural traditions are rooted in India due to economical change and technical development. It is interesting however how cultural traditions in India not seem to be in any conflict with technology. Technology is simply used in other ways than in the western world. The other day I listened to a BBC program on the net interweaving an old Indian man about speed dating. He told the listeners that he could not find a decent husband for his daughter and that speed dating seemed like an excellent way to meet men willing to marry her.
On my way back from Udaipur I met another guy, Sumit on the bus. He was in a bad mood. Just two weeks before, his girlfriend and him had to split up. They had been going out for years, both studying at the same campus but now she was suddenly married to someone else. Both new from the very beginning of their relationship that their love was not a long lasting one. Sumit was not a guy of his girlfriends’ parents’ approval. He was not a good enough man for her to marry. Sumit was aggravated but realized it was for the best anyway. He wanted to be settled and part of the Indian Air Force before he got married him selves. When I spoke to Sumit about love in India his cell phone was beeping constantly. He was text-massaging his friends and to my surprise this particular ex girlfriend. I then remembered what Shantanu Moitra had said to me a month before.
Shantanu Moitra is a music composer and producer. He is working with Bollywood music and has a lot of thoughts about Indian people. He had told me about the interaction between Indians and western technology and trends. He said: “Indians will not accept things from the west the way they are. They like foreign brands and technology but they have to do it Indian style”. Shantanu took the classical example of McDonald’s opening in India and how they had to change their whole brand since Indians doesn’t eat meat from cows. He said it was the same way with everything. Tradition was determining how new technology and trends influenced India.
That made me think and now I have a question jumping back and forth in my head. Can you say that deep-rooted traditions always come before new technology and technology therefore has to adjust to tradition instead of the other way around? It surely seems that way in India.
